To sleep, perchance to dream: politician puts public before self
By Chip Drago
Mobile Bay Times
An ear-splitting screech rends the air as once and possibly future Mobile County Commissioner Juan Chastang adjusts the microphone to accommodate his stature.
Gathered expectantly for the news conference are the press, assorted politicos and curious members of the public. They stir, grimace and rub their ears.
Chastang looks up and blinks rapidly. His eyes widen as if in surprise to discover the presence of an audience.
They stare at one another in a silence that becomes uncomfortable.
He blinks some more. No one there knows Morse code.
He shakes his head vigorously from side to side. His thoughts apparently now organized, he begins.
"Given the clear preference of the voters of Mobile County Commission, District 1 for my worthy opponent -- witness the convincing margin by which she defeated me in a special election -- I hereby renounce any claim to the office to which Gov. Bob Riley appointed me," the ex-county commissioner states.
"If I must reassume the office to satisfy the law, I will do so only for so long as it takes me to tender my resignation," he said. "I would then humbly request that Gov. Riley appoint Ms. Ludgood to the vacancy."
The crowd sits in stunned silence, some members craning left and right as if to assure themselves that yes, indeed it is Chastang whose bald pate they glimpse just clearing the top of the podium.
"Furthermore, in that I performed no duties in service to my constituents and the citizens of Mobile County during the period in which I was wrongly kept from office, I cannot in good conscience use the Supreme Court's ruling to gain any compensation despite advice from my legal representatives that I am entitled to back pay and other benefits," Chastang continued. "No citizen much less a public official should be so shameless as to take advantage of the taxpayers in such a sorry fashion, even if he knows he can do so with no fear of prosecution."
A confused murmur passes through the audience.
"As a former teacher, ex-law enforcement officer, adherent to the principles of the Republican Party and would-be public servant, I should and I will lead by example," said Chastang.
His listeners, with him now, sit up approvingly.
"Today, it is my obligation and honor to set a good example," he said. "A bright, sunny day is dawning in north Mobile County and I will not cloud it with any selfish desires of my own, be they political or financial. To the citizens of District 1, the taxpayers of Mobile County, Gov. Riley and Commissioner Ludgood, I say Godspeed in making this district, this county and this state a better place to live."
Smiles brighten the faces in the crowd, delighted witness to such magnanimity.
"Old political appointees, especially Republican ones in Democratic districts, never get elected. They just fade away. May God bless each and every one of you as I just fade away into the misty, forgotten footnotes of our great county's political history."
With that, to deafening applause, Chastang exits, inexplicably growing larger, not smaller, as he marches away toward a setting sun. Dazzling glints of light ricochet off of his slickly shaven and gleaming dome. Their reflection sparkles in the admiring eyes of a cheering crowd.
The sun drops beneath the horizon and, in the blink of an eye, he's gone.
Ouch, ouch. Okay, I'm awake now. You didn't have to pinch me.
No, no, Chastang will not be so big as to spare us the torture of his importance to the future of democracy. If he leaves the stage, it is more likely to be an unwilling departure, as he is dragged away kicking, screaming, clawing and scratching.
Even more likely, however, is the prospect of limbo. There is every chance that the appeals' court will affirm the wisdom of the U.S. Supreme Court in sanctioning Riley's appointment of Chastang. But with the press of business being what it is, the court may not officially get around to following the high court's guidance until, say, next year. By then the term of office to which Chastang was appointed will have expired and unopposed Democratic nominee Merceria Ludgood will have been elected to a full term.
Riley is not forced into the distasteful role of sponsor to an official whose constituents recently rejected him by a 4-1 margin. The business of the commission is not disrupted. Chastang gets back pay and benefits. It's win, win, win. Except for the taxpayer and what else is new? Somebody made a mistake and somebody has to pay for it. Might as well be the taxpayer. We now return you to your regularly scheduled nightmare.
